He needs help, thinks Apple.
Screenshot by ZDNet
If there’s one word that sums up Apple, it’s generosity.
If there are two words that conjure up Apple, they are generosity and generosity.
How many other companies are generous enough to sell you something revolutionary and then generous enough to help you through your worst hour of crisis?
We are here today, you see, to contemplate the hopeless plight of one man.
This man found himself suffering more than any human. He found himself with no hope or even a dollar to his name.
And he found himself saved by a benevolent and benevolent corporation.
Wait, what are we talking about here? Apple’s latest advertising effort is to get you to sign up for its credit card.
Perhaps you think that Apple’s closeness with Goldman Sachs on the Apple Card could turn you into a less likable person. However, Apple wants you to know that it is all about love and care.
It wants to inspire you to accept that you can’t leave the house without an Apple Card. On your iPhone, that is. Of course, the true joy is that it’s tied to Apple Pay, so you can suddenly have money.
Admit it, you’re not the most capable, right?
You are the one of a kind, the ad explains, who forgets his wallet at home, goes to the local market, feels hungry, and grabs a chocolate bar from the display.
Still, you don’t realize that your wallet didn’t leave the house with you. No, you stand in line, wait for the checkout, and only then realize your amnesia.
Yes, you are totally upset.
People standing in line behind you also find you funny. Especially when you try to dramatically rock your puffy waistcoat, just a stray buck can come out.
Even little boys find you very awkward.
But then you have a surprising idea, apparently inspired by some previous Apple advertising. This is the moment to apply for the Apple Card, the chocolate bar has sat in your mouth.
And so our target market representative pulls out his iPhone, applies for an Apple Card and, apparently within minutes, he’s approved for a $5,000 credit limit.
it’s that easy.
However, I have concerns about Apple’s promise in this ad: “Apply and use in minutes.”
It’s hard to tell how many minutes our poor hero had to wait for Apple’s approval. Sure enough, the line behind him is now gone.
Besides, he still hasn’t finished his chocolate bar.
Does this mean that he was standing in the store, tense, not knowing what would happen if he was not approved?
Does this mean he was too afraid to finish his chocolate bar if the lady at the checkout thought she was trying to steal it and then drew a gun at him? (Hey, this is America.)
I think I have solved it. He was so happy to be approved for his Apple Card that he went and grabbed a second chocolate bar to celebrate.
That’s it. Apple is subtly telling people that you’ll get at least $5,000 more than you can afford, so go to town.
Please, I want you to be happy. But getting an extra $5,000 credit for just one chocolate bar (or two) may not be worth it, whatever Apple says.
And one more thing, if he had indeed forgotten his wallet, he could have told the nice lady at the checkout, left his shopping and went home – or in his car – to pick up his wallet and come back again.
He could also leave some security with her. For example their iPhone.
But nobody. How would this have highlighted Apple’s most central, caring traits?
